Goodnight Children Everywhere and Other Plays Read online

  Janice Paran

  DRAMATURG/DIRECTOR OF PLAY DEVELOPMENT

  THE MCCARTER THEATRE CENTER

  PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY

  NOVEMBER 2004

  SOME AMERICANS ABROAD

  For Colin Chambers and Frank Pike

  PRODUCTION HISTORY

  Some Americans Abroad was commissioned by the Royal Shakespeare Company. It was first performed at The Pit in London on July 19, 1989. It was directed by Roger Michell; the design was by Alexandra Byrne, the lighting design was by Rick Fisher, the music was composed by Jeremy Sams; stage management was by Eric Lumsden, Sheonagh Darby and Sarah West Stevens and the musicians were Pip Hinton, Christopher Nightingale and Sandy Burnett. The cast was as follows:

  JOE TAYLOR

  Anton Lesser

  KATIE TAYLOR

  Kate Byers

  PHILIP BROWN

  Oliver Cotton

  FRANKIE LEWIS

  Diane Fletcher

  ORSON BALDWIN

  John Bott

  HARRIET BALDWIN

  Patricia Lawrence

  HENRY MCNEIL

  Simon Russell Beale

  BETTY MCNEIL

  Amanda Root

  DONNA SILLIMAN

  Caroline Harding

  JOANNE SMITH

  Candida Gubbins

  AN AMERICAN

  Joe Melia

  Some Americans Abroad was subsequently produced by Lincoln Center Theater (Gregory Mosher, Director; Bernard Gersten, Executive Producer) at The Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater in New York on February 11, 1990. It was directed by Roger Michell; the design was by Alexandra Byrne, the lighting design was by Rick Fisher, the music was composed by Jeremy Sams; the stage managers were Michael F. Ritchie and Sarah Manley and the musicians were Michelle Johnson, Joshua Rosenblum and Michael Goetz.

  The cast was as follows:

  JOE TAYLOR

  Colin Stinton

  KATIE TAYLOR

  Cara Buono

  PHILIP BROWN

  John Bedford Lloyd

  FRANKIE LEWIS

  Frances Conroy

  ORSON BALDWIN

  Henderson Forsythe

  HARRIET BALDWIN

  Jane Hoffman

  HENRY MCNEIL

  Bob Balaban

  BETTY MCNEIL

  Kate Burton

  DONNA SILLIMAN

  Elisabeth Shue

  JOANNE SMITH

  Ann Talman

  AN AMERICAN

  John Rothman

  CHARACTERS

  JOE TAYLOR, recently appointed Chairman of the English Department, thirty-eight

  KATIE TAYLOR, his daughter, attends the college, eighteen

  PHILIP BROWN, Professor of English, thirty-seven

  FRANKIE LEWIS, Associate Professor of English, forty-one

  ORSON BALDWIN, retired Chairman of the English Department, late sixties

  HARRIET BALDWIN, his wife, sixties

  HENRY MCNEIL, Assistant Professor of English, thirty-five

  BETTY MCNEIL, his wife, thirty-six

  DONNA SILLIMAN, a student at the college, twenty

  JOANNE SMITH, a graduate of the college, twenty-six

  AN AMERICAN, forties

  All the characters are American.

  SETTING

  1989, various locations in England

  Each scene has a title—the location of the scene—which should be projected moments before the scene begins.

  ACT ONE

  SCENE 1

  LUIGI’S RESTAURANT IN COVENT GARDEN

  Joe Taylor, Henry and Betty McNeil, Frankie Lewis, Philip Brown and Katie Taylor around a table, toward the end of their meal.

  JOE (To Philip): First, that does not mean I am in favor of a nuclear war—

  PHILIP: You are arguing for a situation that will make such a war more—

  JOE: Let me finish!

  (The rest of the table only halfheartedly listens to this conversation as they finish their meals, sip their coffee, finish their wine, etc.)

  (To the others) He twists everything. Anyone else want to jump in, go right ahead. Put me out of my misery. (Laughs)

  PHILIP (To the others): I’m waiting for him to get to Gorbachev—

  JOE: Gorbachev supports me! The whole idea of Gorbachev supports my argument! (To the others) We got Gorbachev, didn’t we? (Turns to Philip) Philip, what could be clearer? Please. What I have been saying, the point to be made here is—to go out and protest— To— What? Chain yourself to some gate of some plant or some boat or whatever—

  PHILIP: Frankie, pass me the last of that wine, please. That’s if no one—

  HENRY: No, no. It’s yours. (Turns to his wife) Betty?

  BETTY: I’m fine.

  (Frankie passes the wine. Philip pours into his glass.)

  JOE: If you don’t want to—

  PHILIP: Go ahead.

  (Beat.)

  JOE: I want to know what’s the purpose in all that? In the protesting. What? (Beat) Disarmament??? (Beat) Come on, what does that mean?

  FRANKIE: What does dis—?

  JOE: When one says one is quote unquote for disarmament, what does one mean? Peace???? (Beat) Who the hell isn’t interested in peace?

  PHILIP: It’s about creating a pressure . . .

  JOE: A unilateral pressure? What the hell is that? Is anyone really suggesting—seriously suggesting—that we should just junk our bombs? (Beat) Of course they’re not. They are suggesting—demanding that we keep negotiating. Well—I agree! (Beat) If that is the purpose of these adventures, then I agree with them. I agree with the purpose.

  PHILIP: But now you’ll argue that such actions as these protests, they only make the country weaker which only makes real negotiations less—

  JOE: I’m not saying that. Don’t paint me into that corner, OK? (Beat) Jesus Christ, I am a goddamn liberal, Philip. (Beat) Listen to me. You are not listening. (Beat. To the others) Am I that hard to understand? (To Philip) If the point of protesting is simply to pressure negotiations. Fine. I understand this. This is not what I’m criticizing. (Finishes his wine) My point is the intellectual dishonesty involved in saying one is for disarmament when everyone is for disarmament. It’s like saying you’re for love!

  PHILIP (To the others): There was a time actually not too many years ago— (Laughs)

  JOE: I know. And we learned something from that, didn’t we? (Beat) I did. Let’s not delude ourselves that we are actually changing things. Or changing much. It is truth, honesty that I’m after. Say what you’re doing! Say what you mean! For Christ’s sake is it so hard to be honest? (Beat) I know things are complicated these days but you know what I think—I think things have always been complicated. (Beat) The man who wrote Hamlet understood that the world was complicated.

  (Short pause.)

  PHILIP: This is true. Good point.

  HENRY: Are we off political science and on to literature now?

  PHILIP: If we are, then the perfect example which refutes you, Joe, is that piece of intellectual mush we sat through this afternoon. Talk about idiotic debates.

  JOE (To the others): I knew he was getting to this. (Smiles) Look, it’s a beautiful play. And that’s not just my opinion.

  HENRY: It’s anthologized—

  PHILIP: Straw men—set up to be knocked down. That’s how Shaw works. The world presented in that play was tricky, not complicated. Shaw enjoyed trickiness, not real thinking.

  JOE: And that is one opinion. (To the others) Shaw’s reputation this half-century has gone up and down, up and down. (Laughs)

  PHILIP: The world today makes such a play ridiculous.

  JOE: Come on, it was funny. You laughed.

  PHILIP: I laughed. At a play. I didn’t appreciate the effort at political argument. Or rather the trivialization of political argument. (Beat) Look, in the end I think we’re saying the same thing. The world is complicated. Too complicated for a George Bernard Shaw to express—

  JOE: I think that play is ver
y profound.

  HENRY: You teach it in your Modern Brit class, don’t you?

  JOE: Yes, I do, Henry, thank you. (Beat. To Philip) It may be a little schematic—

  PHILIP: You mean a little watered down.

  JOE: But a schematic argument sometimes is the best way to present a complex moral position. Breaking the argument apart piece by piece, it illuminates the position. Or the conundrum. If that’s what it is. Often in surprising ways. If you’d like I’ll show you what I mean.

  PHILIP: Look everyone, I’m sorry for getting him started.

  FRANKIE: I doubt if you could have stopped him.

  JOE: That’s not funny.

  HENRY: It’s interesting, really.

  BETTY: Very interesting.

  JOE: Thank you. (To Philip and Frankie) You want me to show you or not? (Beat) So—capital punishment. I’ll make my point with that. Let me ask Frankie. A woman we all know who has strong moral opinions.

  FRANKIE: Since when? (Laughs) He must have got me confused with someone else. How much wine are we drinking?

  (Laughter.)

  JOE: Capital punishment, Frankie. Good or bad? (Beat) Come on, good or bad?

  FRANKIE: Bad. Of course. Morally indefensible.

  JOE: You are sure of that?

  FRANKIE: Yes. Yes I am sure, Joe.

  JOE: But if I were to present an argument—

  FRANKIE: For vengeance? If you believe in vengeance then of course—

  JOE: Not vengeance. (To the others) Here now is our complicated world at work. (Beat) While I was in grad school, I was moonlighting for a small paper. I interviewed a guy in prison. A killer. Sentenced to life imprisonment. He was first sentenced to death, but now it was life imprisonment.

  PHILIP: After the Supreme Court knocked down—

  JOE: Yeah. Whatever. Well, Buddy—that’s the guy’s name; I went to see Buddy. And he started to tell me that he favored the death penalty. A killer in prison!

  FRANKIE: Well—a death wish. Like that man in— Where was it? Utah? Nevada?

  JOE: No. No, there’s no death wish, Frankie. When his sentence was changed to life, he was very very happy about that. He did not want to die. (Beat) Here’s what he said: because he was under a life sentence—actually three, he’d murdered three people and he’d no possibility for parole—the guards in the prison, they knew there was nothing, no recourse left for them if Buddy tried to do something. I mean, he was there for good, forever. There was no deterrent. Get it? (Beat) So they treated Buddy like an animal. (Beat) Why wouldn’t they, right? (Beat) And this—as you can imagine—dehumanized our Buddy. So—he told me—he thought there should be a death penalty for people who were in prison for life but who then kill a prison guard. This would be his one case when the death penalty would apply.

  (Short pause.)

  PHILIP: Interesting.

  JOE: Isn’t it?

  FRANKIE: I’d never heard—

  JOE: Buddy’s argument is in favor of treating people like human beings. In this case the threat of death helps the prisoner.

  HENRY: You should write an article, Joe; you’ve got something that’s publishable.

  JOE: Thank you. (To Frankie) Now you see the problem. As any philosopher knows—you find one case that is acceptable, in this case where killing is acceptable; then the moral argument falls by the wayside. It’s all case by case then, instead of a debate about morality.

  FRANKIE: Which is what we’re always trying to achieve with abortion.

  JOE: Exactly. (Short Pause) Don’t get me wrong, I think the death penalty is inhuman. I’m just saying, see how tricky things can get? (Beat) Not to wax pretentious, but I do think the mind is really quite extraordinary. (Beat) The pursuit of truth is a bumpy road. But one we all have chosen to follow. Or we wouldn’t be teachers.

  HENRY: Beautifully said, Joe.

  PHILIP: But what the hell does any of that have to do with a hack playwright like Shaw?

  (He laughs; the others laugh.)

  JOE (Laughing): Nothing. Nothing at all, Phil!

  (Pause. They sip their coffee.)

  HENRY: What a provocative discussion.

  FRANKIE: Katie, this must be very boring for you.

  JOE: Nah, she’s used to it. She can take it.

  KATIE: You should see him at home. Dinner’s like a senior seminar.

  (Some light laughter.)

  PHILIP: Lunch with Joe in the canteen is like a senior seminar.

  FRANKIE: Mary says being married to him is like living in a senior seminar!

  (Laughter.)

  JOE: OK. OK. It’s not all that funny. (Beat. To Katie) I hope, young lady, you do not treat all of your teachers with such disrespect.

  KATIE: I promise I save all of my disrespect for my father.

  (Laughter.)

  BETTY: Very good!

  HENRY (Shushing her, under his breath): Betty!

  FRANKIE (Over this exchange): As any child should!

  (Laughter.)

  PHILIP: Or does, you mean!

  (Laughter. Pause. Philip picks up the bill and looks at it.)

  HENRY: Is that the check?

  PHILIP: Yes.

  (He hands Henry the bill.)

  BETTY: Katie, your father was telling me this afternoon that you’ve not been to England before.

  KATIE: No I haven’t.

  BETTY: How exciting it all must be for you.

  KATIE: I’m having a good time. (Beat) The plays are great.

  HENRY: Aren’t they. (Puts the bill back down) When do we go to Stratford?

  JOE: Next Thursday. (To Frankie) Next Thursday?

  (She nods.)

  BETTY (To Katie): You’ll love Stratford.

  HENRY (To Katie): You’ll come back to England in maybe ten years, Katie, and it’ll all still be here. That’s what I love about England. (Beat) We first came ten years ago.

  (Short pause.)

  FRANKIE: Last year’s plays were better, I think.

  BETTY: Do you? Then they must have been really marvelous because so far— (Stops herself)

  FRANKIE: I wasn’t saying that this year’s—

  BETTY: No, no. I know you weren’t.

  (Short pause.)

  KATIE: The play today wasn’t bad.

  JOE: Hear that, Phil? That’s one for me. (To Katie) Good for you.

  KATIE: The woman who played Barbara, she was great, I thought.

  FRANKIE: She was good.

  HENRY: Excellent.

  (Short pause.)

  KATIE: The Undershaft, wasn’t he in Jewel in the Crown?

  HENRY: Was he?

  KATIE: I think so.

  PHILIP: Hmmmmmm. (To Henry) You saw Jewel in the Crown, didn’t you?

  HENRY: Not all of it.

  PHILIP: Treat yourself. When it comes back on—

  BETTY: We will.

  (Short pause.)

  JOE: Mary sends her best.

  FRANKIE: You talked to her?

  JOE: Katie and I did. (Beat) It’s her birthday.

  PHILIP: Really? What a shame not to have you—

  JOE: She understands. (Beat) It was important to her that Katie could come. So she’s happy.

  (Short pause.)

  PHILIP: Well—happy birthday, Mary!

  THE OTHERS: Yes, happy birthday.

  (Pause.)

  JOE: Maybe we should pay this. (He takes the bill. Short pause. He turns to Frankie) What did you have Frankie?

  FRANKIE: The veal.

  JOE: Right. So should I be banker? (Beat) Let’s see that’s . . .

  FRANKIE (Taking out money): Will this cover it?

  JOE: One second.

  BETTY (To Henry): What did we have?

  HENRY: I had the lasagna. That was six pounds ten pence.

  PHILIP: Plus tax and tip.

  FRANKIE: I forgot about the tip. (Reaches into her purse for more money)

  BETTY (Putting money down): This I’m sure will be plenty. (Beat) Won’t it?

  JOE: And
the wine? Do we all put in for the wine?

  PHILIP: I certainly do. I must have had—

  HENRY: I only had one glass. How much is one glass?

  JOE: I’ll figure it out. A bottle was— How many glasses in a bottle?

  BETTY: Five. No more than five. They’re big glasses.

  KATIE: Dad—

  JOE: Put your money away, I’ll pay for you.

  KATIE: But I have money.

  JOE: Save it. In this town, you’ll need it, trust me.

  FRANKIE: Did the salad come with the entrée?

  KATIE: I had ice cream.

  JOE: I have that.

  KATIE: And a coffee.

  PHILIP: So did I.

  BETTY: Wasn’t that an espresso?